Respect the Doctor
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: Note: A Kim Possible fanfic inspired by the film Man of the House. If you haven’t seen the film, it’s about a group of Longhorn cheerleaders that witness a murder and are put in the care of a tough-as-nails police officer. What will Drakken do when he’


Respect the Doctor

Note: A Kim Possible fanfic inspired by the film Man of the House. If you haven't seen the film, it's about a group of Longhorn cheerleaders that witness a murder and are put in the care of a tough-as-nails police officer. What will Drakken do when he's stuck chaperoning a bunch of Middleton cheerleaders (Kim Possible is not among them, she's on assignment stopping other baddies) ? And why is he watching them anyway ? Doesn't he have dastardly plans to plot ? And where the heck is Sheego ?

Chapter 1—Sea of Estrogen

When Drakken awoke, he heard the sounds of popular girl bands over the radio. He didn't mind that type of music, but it was beginning to become annoying. It was a little too peppy and bubbly for his tastes. By the time he finally came into consciousness, he noticed that teen girls inhabited his lair. They were chatting with one another, fixing each other's hair, painting each other's fingernails and toenails and other feminine activities. Drakken was almost gagged by the overwhelming scents of different types of perfumes that emanated from his lab.

"What is the meaning of this ! Why are you Middleton cheerleaders here ?", Drakken questioned, arms akimbo and brow furrowing in consternation.

"There weren't any other people around Middleton that would take upon the responsibility of us 'spirited females'. I can't possibly imagine why, though.", Bonnie responded, grinning mischievously. Doctor Drakken wasn't amused at all. He wondered if Sheego had set him up just to be mean to him (it was one of the strange ways she showed affection to him) or if this adolescent was telling the truth. At the moment, he didn't care, nor did it matter. He only desired to know where Sheego had gone, and why he had been left with these ladies.

While Drakken left the cheerleaders to their baffling activities, he returned to his lair to his room and found Sheego's PDA on her nightstand. There was a text message written on it. It said, "Sorry for the sudden barrage of 'guests'. They had no one else to watch over them. I'm in the Caymans enjoying spring break, but I'll be back by next Saturday. So, don't become too lonely without me there. I'll be back, Dr. D."

Drakken shook his head left and right. Was this some kind of message to him ? He wasn't certain. Perhaps Sheego wanted him to get in touch with his feminine side ?

Whatever the purpose was, Drakken already had made up his mind that he was going to loathe and abhor it no matter what…but that would soon change.

Chapter 2—Extreme Makeover

Doctor Drakken could hardly maneuver around his laboratory any longer. It was cluttered with make-up kits, clothing, and piles upon piles of shoes. The horribly cheerful music had been an irritant at first, but this mess made matters even worse.

"Would you girls _mind_ ? You're turning my domicile into a pig sty ! Please don't leave everything lying about. I _live _here !", Doctor Drakken screamed at the top of his lungs. The girls were very concerned for Drakken's well being and led him to a chair.

"You mustn't get so stressed out, Drakken.", one of them said, sweetly.

"It's Doctor, _Doctor_ Drakken. I didn't go to medical school just to be called Drakken or Mister. I have a PhD for Pete's sake !", Drakken bellowed, but his tone of voice began to diminish when his shoulders were rubbed. Dirk was beginning to feel more relaxed, and he didn't mind having a mud mask on his face or a manicure.

He felt almost guilty for relaxing, but it was soothing to be pampered. He was certain not to tell Sheego of this or she would have a fit of jealous rage. Besides, the cheerleaders were doing this for _his_ benefit and they were giving him tips on what ladies really liked in a relationship. In as much as he thought he was going to loathe and abhor these teenage girls, he actually _enjoyed_ spending time with them. In fact, he wondered what it would be like to have children of his own. He had never thought of asking Sheego this, but they were officially a married couple. Secretly, he knew that Sheego had always wanted to be a mother but villainy and parenthood often didn't mix. He wondered about this but never had the courage to talk to Sheego about it. He was afraid she might become upset with him. But, he would never know unless he asked her.

These lovely girls were spoiling the only matter he had to concern himself with. They weren't so horrible. Anyway, the others who weren't giving him a makeover and giving him a new look were cleaning up after themselves.

By the time Dirk saw himself in the mirror he hardly recognized himself. He looked like a high roller on his way out for a night on the town. His scruffy hair was flat, wavy and dashing and his suit was debonair. The handkerchief in the lapel pocket made him look sophisticated and dapper while the costume jewelry seemed to shout to everyone, "Hey, look ! I'm a big shot !". This proved to Dirk that villains could take the time to look good and _feel_ good at the same time.

Chapter 3—Give a Little Bit

Dirk treated the girls to a trip to the mall while he went into the stores that captured his interest. While he was there, a lot of different women were looking him over. Some of them weren't deterred by the fact that he was wearing his wedding band. Gently, he declined their advances and called the girls to join him. Once the women saw the cheerleaders, they assumed that they were his children and slowly backed away or began whispering among themselves. Happy to be away from all of those gold-diggers, Dirk took the ladies to the food court and was then thanked by them before he returned them to their homes.

Inasmuch as Dirk was reluctant to admit it, he actually missed the cheerleaders. They had taught him a lot about himself and he had seen just exactly how suave he could look and feel. This might prove to be an advantage in any scheme he might hatch in the future. Before long, Sheego had returned home and almost didn't recognize him.

"I can see the girls really transformed you.", Sheego said, hugging him.

"Indeed they did. I think I'm going to stick to this look. You can sell all my old lab coats to Goodwill.", Dirk said, grinning in Sheego's embrace. He kissed her and they gathered all of his old lab coats together. He would hold onto one when he was working in the laboratory but he would stick to his new clothes when he was "at play" trying to shake the world up a bit. That's what Sheego adored about him…Whatever trial he was given that might upset his schedule for world domination; he would go back to the drawing board and start all over again.

Soon, the lab coats went to Goodwill and one was kept for experiments in the laboratory when the right time arrived. At the moment, Dirk was enjoying relaxing with his partner and wife. At last he had found the courage to talk to her about the possibility of having children in the future. They didn't want to have children for a while, but the idea of being parents wasn't completely out of their minds. One day, it was very probable that they would be terrific parents but for now, Drakken had a reputation to rebuild and minds to erase. The whole effect of the makeover would last (as well as the new attitude), but sadly the girls would forget they were ever in his lair to begin with. Such was the way of villainous living. Secrets always had to be kept should someone uncover them. Besides, Kim Possible already knew where the so called "hidden" lair was, and that was all thanks to Drakken ordering magazines there to begin with.

Epilogue 

Drakken hadn't forgotten his touching experiences with the Middleton cheerleaders, although begrudgingly he hated to confess that. Yet, he knew it had brought him closer to Sheego and helped him understand her more. However, there were the odd ways she expressed her affection for him that he would never comprehend. That was more of the reason why he loved her and why he married her to begin with. Anyway, she kept matters interesting. He just had to be cautious not to make her angry or she would blast holes in the ceiling. He always kept that fact in mind.

Lately, she had been giving him more respect and not so much of a bully. The vacation seemed to have mellowed her a bit, but she was still the same woman. Even though she could be a bully he knew she meant well and they would always be deeply in love with one another. In everything, they would be together, even if Drakken never did see his dream true, it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that love united them and made them a team in everything.

The End

By: Elizabeth Berndt

March 21, 2005


End file.
